RE:Things Konoha Genin are not Allowed to do
by NeonNavyWriter
Summary: A series of things that Konoha's genin are not allowed to do in order of teams.
1. Chapter 1- Team Seven

**NeonNavy: I'm back guys and girls with a new story**

 **Naruto: Yeah where have you been dattebayo?**

 **NeonNavy: You know, here and there, sickness and school.**

 **Naruto: ...**

 **NeonNavy: Anyway, on with the story. Naruto do the disclaimer**

 **Naruto: No I don't want to...^_^**

 **NeonNavy: *Brings out a butchers knife* DO IT**

 **Naruto: Okay okay...Dickhead**

 **NeonNavy:Naruutoooo...**

 **Naruto: Okay okay.**

 **Naruto: NeonNavy Does NOT own Naruto ,** **Masashi Kishimoto does.**

 **I adopted this story from jgkitarel. Go check him out guys**

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 ***The third hokage passes out leaflets to everyone with new guidelines*  
**

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 **Team 7**

Naruto is not allowed to give the hokage mountain a makeover **  
**

Sasuke is no longer allowed to chase Tora

Naruto, you are not longer allowed to hogtie Tora and hold it above an open fire.

The same goes to you as well Sasuke.

Provoking Kakashi to use his Raikiri in the hot springs is not a good idea.

Sakura, while the Hokage appreciates you trying to help Naruto, setting him up on blind dates with the following kunoichi is now prohibited: Anko Mitarashi, Uzuki Yuugao, Shizune, or anyone the rank of chuunin or higher.

Naruto, quit encouraging Lee and Gai to increase their 'Flames of Youth.' It took two hours to put out that fire.

Quit encouraging Naruto in doing the aforementioned, Kakashi./ppSasuke, quit trying to convince academy students to help you with killing Itachi.

The _Oiroke no Jutsu_ is hereby labeled a Forbidden Technique, the med-nins are running out of blood for the transfusions.

Naruto, you will not turn the Hokage Monument into a giant advertisement for the _Icha Icha_ book series.

Especially if Jiraya and Kakashi think it's a good idea.

Naruto, Ibiki would like to have a talk with you about how you managed to have his clothes turn psychedelic colors during an interrogation.

Edited pictures of various shinobi and kunoichi in compromising positions being placed on walls as posters will not happen again, Naruto.

Tsunade does not have the secret to burning eternal youth, Sasuke, so quit trying to encourage Gai and Lee to discover her secrets to brighten their flames of youth.

Sakura, quit trying to put in mission requests to force the rest of Sasuke's fan girls into arranged marriages.

Requesting the elders to do the same is also prohibited.

Naruto, you wouldn't know why the Hyuuga clan elders were found naked on top of the Hokage monument, would you.

Sasuke is no longer allowed on the Nara properties.

Neither is Naruto, the deer were traumatized enough.

Sasuke, neither you nor Naruto are allowed to associate with Genma ever again. One man-whore in Konoha is enough.

Sakura, quit encouraging Sasuke to learn seduction tips from Genma.

The same goes for you Kakashi.

Naruto, the proper solution to any problem is not ramen.

Naruto, quit persuading Konohamaru to pull pranks on the Hyuuga family.

Can one of you explain how the Inuzuka Compound smelled like perfume, with all of its inhabitants having pink hair and fur, and all of them breathing fire?

Naruto, the _Kage Bunshin no Jutsu_ is not to be used under the following circumstances: picking up girls, convincing academy students that they should campaign for you to become Hokage, impersonating the village council…

Explosive tags are not meant to be used for home decorating, gardening, or capturing Tora.

Naruto, quit telling academy students that you are a big badass demon lord looking for cultist worshippers.

Alcoholic beverages and _Katon Jutsu_ are no longer allowed together, Sasuke.

Naruto, can you explain why the entire interior of ANBU Headquarters is now orange?

By the way, how did you find where it is in the first place? Its' location is classified for a reason.

Naruto, any idea which makes you smile and giggle for more than fifteen seconds is not to be done.

Naruto, using the _Oiroke no Jutsu_ and dressing the part of a flighty girl is not allowed.

Using the _Oiroke no Jutsu_ and stripping is not to be done during a mission against enemy nins.

Even though it worked.

Kakashi, can you explain why your team was found in a bar frequented by shinobi, roaring drunk, and doing a strip dance?

Team Seven is no longer allowed to partake in alcoholic beverages for the time being

Neither is Kakashi.

Sakura, while your technique was interesting, don't do it again, the repairs are beginning to cost too much.

No, Naruto, you can't sacrifice Tora to the Kyuubi in order to appease it.

Sasuke, the Aburame Clan elders would like to have a word with you about mixing insecticides with a Katon Jutsu near their properties.

For the three genin on the team, Kakashi is not your sugar-daddy, so quite addressing him as such.


	2. Chapter 2- Team Eight

**NeonNavy: I'm back with a new chapter.**

 **Kiba: Finally there is a chapter about my team..**

 **NeonNavy: Do the disclaimer Kiba**

 **Kiba: No**

 **NeonNavy:Yes**

 **Kiba:NO**

 **NeonNavy:Ugh...Fine I'll do it  
**

 **NeonNavy: Unfortunately, I can't claim to have created Naruto.**

 **I adopted this story from jgkitarel. Go check him out guys.**

 **Enjoy**

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 **Team Eight**

Hinata, while it is understandable that you would need to practice the use of your Byakugan, please stop staring at Naruto with it, you're beginning to drool more than Akamaru when you do so.

Kurenai, can you explain why Kiba was seen trying to lick his crotch in public.

Shino, threatening academy students with your kikaichu bugs is not acceptable.

No, Akamaru! Stop! Don't pee on that! Bad dog!

Hinata, can you please stop telling all the females between the ages of twelve and twenty about the size of Naruto's "package"? He's been molested fifteen times this week.

No, Hinata, you can't practice you Jyuuken techniques on the girls who molested Naruto. You shouldn't have told them about the size of his package. If you want to molest him yourself, you should have acted earlier.

On the other hand, you are not allowed to molest him, either.

Kiba, you can't kill Naruto because he is better hung than you.

Shino, we aren't going to declare war on other shinobi villages because their genin are annoying brats. _All_ genin are annoying brats, even ours, and you don't see the other villages declaring war on us for that reason.

Kurenai, can you explain why Hinata was found passed out at the hot springs along with half the teenage kunoichi population of Konoha? The nosebleeds were on the scale of Naruto's _Oiroke no Jutsu._

Shino, threatening to castrate Sasuke in his sleep because he's still moping about his clan's massacre is not nice.

Neither is trying to get Gaara to do it for you.

Kiba, Inoichi would like to have a talk with you about him having seen Akamaru digging up his garden to bury things in it. He has found the following items: three chicken bones, two rubber balls, a mangled doll that looks suspiciously like Naruto…

Hinata, can you tone down the stalking of Naruto? He's beginning to get paranoid about being watched when he can't prove he is.

Kurenai, banning _Icha Icha Paradise_ will not happen. If we did so, the male shinobi would mutiny.

Shino, Hinata has forgiven Neji for the Chuunin Exams, so quit having your bugs crawl around his room at odd times of the night.

Kiba, giving Lee sake in order to beat Neji like a drum will not happen again.

In fact, you are not allowed to possess sake save for strictly controlled circumstances left up to your mother's judgment, Kiba.

Hinata, putting a contract on heads of the elders of your clan is not acceptable. Yes, we know it was you.

Even though it was under your father's name. He was quite miffed about you trying it before he could.

Kiba, you aren't allowed to try and make Tora a chew toy for Akamaru.

Kiba, restrain your dog! That's the fourth stack of important paperwork he's chewed on this week.

Kurenai, we need to have a talk about why Shino has his bugs all throughout the Hokage Tower.

Hinata, can you please refrain from trying to assault the ambassador from Kumo? We understand that you had a bad experience with the last one, but please wait until they try something first.

The last ambassador they sent is still traumatized.

Kiba, asking a girl her name so you can "howl it at the moon" is lame. Quit doing it.

Shino we are getting complaints from the ambassadors from snow country you were supposed to protect. They want you to stop too creep them out, they say that bugs were crawling out of your nose, ears and mouth when you were sleeping.


	3. Chapter 3- Team Ten

**NeonNavy: I'm back with a new chapter.**

 **Ino: FINALLY*Screeches***

 **NeonNavy: OUCH*Covers ears*  
**

 **Ino:What?**

 **NeonNavy: Nothing *Sweating like crazy***

 **Ino: Neon...*Looks at Neon with a murder-crazed look while holding a meat cleaver***

 **NeonNavy:*Sweats heavily and runs away like a little girl while screaming like one***

 **Ino: Runs after Neon**

 **Here is a little review corner:**

 **raw666: Yes ,thank you for the idea man**

 **Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I can't claim to have created Naruto.**

 **I adopted this story from jgkitarel. Go check him out guys.**

 **NeonNavy: Enjoy! *He shouts in the distance where he is getting chased by Ino*  
**

 **Crowd: *Sweat drop***

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 **Team Ten**

Ino, can you explain why Neji was acting like a six year old girl?

Shikamaru, using your shadows for various things, while innovative, can't be done for everything.

Choji, can you explain why Shushuya billed the Sarutobi household for over fifteen thousand ryo in food?

Don't do it, even if Asuma says it's okay.

Choji, all you can eat buffets does not mean literately everything, so stop eating our restaurants out of business or you are banned from all Leaf and allied restaurants from now on.

Ino, quit addressing Asuma as by the name Pimpmaster. We have already had enough pedophilia complaints because of Team Seven doing something similar.

You also can't refer to him as 'Snuggle Bear' or 'Huggy Bear'.

Choji, you can't barbecue Tora to see if he tastes good.

Ino, while taking over Jiraya's mind and making him act like a boy obsessed teenage girl was entertaining, don't make him dress as one. We didn't need to see that, and the alcohol needed to forget it gets expensive after awhile.

Shikamaru, you are told again you cannot get others to do your job. If you do not do your part, then you will be assigned to do the hard stuff.

Asuma, can you explain why Shikamaru was being chased through Konoha, half naked, by Gaara and Kankuro?

Shikamaru, we'd appreciate it if you would refrain from doing lewd shadow puppets on the Hokage monument.

Ino, you can't take over the minds of any male who's offended you and make them act like they're gender confused. Especially since Naruto continued it for a week afterward, and did a good job.

Especially since we know you made a bet with him that he couldn't do it.

Shikamaru, challenging Temari to strip shogi should be done in a private location, not in public.

Ino, just because Hinata told you how well endowed Naruto is does not mean you should molest him, or castrate him because he is larger than Sasuke in that regard.

Choji, when practicing your clan's techniques, please refrain from doing it near any inhabited areas. We _needed_ that building.

None of you will bet that Asuma can shave with his trench knives again.

Yes, he'll be out of the hospital shortly, and with no scars.

Ino, you are not allowed to flirt with attractive clients, that was the fourth one Asuma had to kill in order to keep you from being molested.

You are also not allowed to flirt with, seduce, entice, or tease Naruto any more, he's confused enough about females as it is.

You deserved to have Naruto turn the tables on you like that Ino.

Ino, you cannot boss other teams to follow your bidding. You do not have the authority unless we give it to you.

Choji, just because it says all you can eat, doesn't mean you can close a restaurant for a week due to lack of food.

Shikamaru, can you explain why Neji was doing a strip dance in front of Anko during kunoichi night at the _Drunken Shinobi_?

No, we will not put out contracts to assassinate Tora, so quit asking us.

Ino, we will not try to have Kakashi and Anko put into an arranged marriage so that they can produce prodigy babies.

Shikamaru, even though Ino annoys you, having her do a strip dance in front of the Hokage with your _Kagemane no Jutsu_ is not allowed.

Ino, you will not have Shikamaru dress in drag and walk into a gay bar singing 'I'm So Pretty' again.

Asuma, if your team has enough time to cause this kind of trouble, then you are not training them hard enough.

Ino, quit flirting with Genma. Just because he's a man-whore doesn't mean he will cross that line.

Ino, don't reply to Orochimaru's statement of "You would be surprised at what I can do with my toungue." With, "Hmm, tempting."

Shikamaru, persuading Gai and Lee to change into tight fitting shorts and sing 'Macho, Macho Man' was not amusing.

Neither was joining them in that event, Choji.

Ino, you are not allowed to associate with Anko Mitarashi again.


	4. Chapter 4- Team Guy AKA Team Nine

**NeonNavy:Hey I'm back with a new chapter.**

 **Neji: Fate has decided to give me a chapter about me and my team.**

 **Lee: YOSH, NeonNavy YOUR YOUTH BURNS BRIGHTLY**

 **NeonNavy: LEE, STOP!**

 **Lee: Yes, sir!**

 **NeonNavy: Neji, and Lee.**

 **Lee: YES SIR!?**

 **Neji: What?**

 **NeonNavy: I'll kill you**

 **Lee: *Runs away***

 **Neji: Damn you Lee...**

 **NeonNavy:*Sharpens blade slowly***

 **Neji: *Runs away while screaming like a little girl***

 **NeonNavy Enjoy*Creates a clone to follow Lee and the runs after Neji***

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 **Review count...:**

 **Poodie(1:st reviewer)**

 **PureInsanity39(2:nd reviewer)**

 **Raw666(3:rd reviewer)**

 **Draxien Oblivion(Fourth reviewer)**

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 **Draxien Oblivion: Yeah I know right**

 **Raw666: Thanks for the suggestions.**

 **Poodie: I know right Haha...Ha...**

 **PureInsanity39: LOL:P**

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 **Disclaimer: Can someone tell me why a lawyer came to me in order to tell me to drop my claims to Naruto? This is the fourth time today, and I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. I don't own it.**

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 **Team Guy**

Neji, your hitai-ate is supposed to have the leaf symbol on it, not Pwn Ma73r, change it back.

Tenten, people are beginning to wonder about your uses of weapons after they saw you pull them from some rather unorthodox places. Wait, is that kunai vibrating!

Lee, you will not tell students about the Flames of Youth again. We already have the Konohamaru Corps causing enough havoc from Naruto's influence.

While we applaud your skills at psychological warfare, Neji, you will never again tell academy students about fate, destiny, and how they're linked to their pitiful n00b skillz. Where the hell do you get these words from, anyway?

Tenten, you will not reply to what Neji says with "Jawol mein Fuher!"

Don't ask Lee, we don't want to go there.

Guy, can you explain why Tenten was holding a drunken rave in the Forest of Death?

Can you also explain why all the attendees, including Tenten, had all of their clothing gone, and cut to ribbons which thus decorated said party?

Because of that, Naruto is now getting molested even more often by women in the village.

No Lee, you will not challenge Neji to see who the true Lord of the Dance is.

Lee, can you explain how you managed to acquire alcohol when everyone in the village was expressly forbidden to provide you any?

Neji, the Byakugan is not to be used to peep on the women's baths, especially when the most attractive kunoichi are there.

You deserved to get pounded, skewered, maimed, broken, and abused like that Neji.

Lee, setting yourself on fire to see how brightly your Flames of Youth burn will not happen again.

Don't encourage him Guy.

No, Tenten, you can't use Tora as a practice dummy for your weapons.

Neither can you use the cat to practice your Jyuuken on, Neji.

Neji, quit telling Genma that you know more erogenous zones on a woman's body than him.

No, Lee, just…no.

Tenten, can you explain why you were found, naked, surrounded by chocolate covered weapons, in Naruto's apartment?

Tenten is another genin who is not allowed to associate with Anko Mitarashi.

Neji, we are beginning to wonder if your ego is for compensating for any possible lacking attributes you may have. It's the only explanation.

Don't even think about it, Lee.

Team Guy will not teach at the academy when any of the chuunin are sick. It took the instructors three weeks to get those kids back to normal.

Tenten, you will not play fetch with the Inuzuka Clan's dogs with kunai, even if they were blunted.

Guy, you and Lee will not do that man hug in the presence of diplomats from other hidden villages again.

Tenten, change back to what you wore beforehand, and put the dominatrix outfit away.

Why are you wearing a bridle, Neji?

Put the squirrel down Lee.

Neji, you will not try to put an assassination contact out on the Main Branch family elders, even if Hinata and Hanabi were the ones originally behind the idea.

Guy, you are forbidden from taking on any more personal students after Rock Lee, effective immediately.

Lee, you are forbidden from taking any personal students due to fact we can't keep retiring Genin after a week of active service.

Neji , you are not allow to threaten any one who looks at, talk to or touch Hinata, especially Naruto. She is a big girl and can defend herself from any she doesn't want to be around them, or molested in the case of Naruto.

Neji, do you happen to know why at least 5% of our budget goes to overprice hair shampoo and why its ship directly to the Hyuga compound?

Tenten, you are not allowed to throw kunai, shurikens, rocks, bricks or any other objects not mention at female hopefuls heading at the academy for being fan-girls.

Tenten, you are forbidden from tying them up, and threatening them to with any type of weapon or blunt objects to "Change Their Ways About Being Fangirls." Especially when its in the Forbidden Forest and partner up with Anko.

We have hard enough time get standard teams out, we don't need them further imbalanced because you scare the hopefuls into quitting.

Tenten, due to higher then average graduation rate brought about scaring hopefuls straight, you are hereby order to disregraded previous orders and encourage to frightening hopefuls to scare straight, so sign Hokage, Tsunade Senju.

By Order of the Council and Hokage, Tenten is hereby forbidden to interact with any academy students due to a incident that cause the whole class to drop out of fear. The events leading up are hereby classified and sealed to Jonin level and up.

By order of the Hokage and the Council, Guy and Lee are forbidden from using the sunset jutsu within fifty feet of the Hokage and any sitting member of the Council or Clan Heads.

By order of the Hokage, only Neji and Tenten are allowed to speak and engaged with villages clients for Team Guy to prevent international incidents.

Neji, No you are not allowed to get a dog and name it Doge!

Tenten, You are not allowed to experiment with explosive seals together with Naruto.

Even if it results in better seals. You have caused more property damage than what you have gained through sales.


	5. Chapter 5- Team Minato

**NeonNavy:Hey I'm back with a new chapter.**

 **NeonNavy:** **Well, now that I've covered the main genin teams so far, I have decided to go into the past and show what other teams in the past have been banned from doing.**

 **Audience: Where is the members of team Minato?**

 **NeonNavy: They are sleeping:P**

 **Audience: Oh Ok**

 **NeonNavy: Enjoy guys:P(I'm too lazy to write a conversation this time:P)**

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 **Review count...:**

 **bankai777 (Fifth Reviewer)**

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 **Review corner:**

 **bankai777: Yep, This chapter**

 **Raw666: Thanks as always for the suggestions**

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 **Disclaimer: Can someone tell me why a lawyer came to me in order to tell me to drop my claims to Naruto? This is the fourth time today, and I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. I don't own it.**

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 **Team Minato**

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Kakashi, can you explain why Obito was found hanging upside down and naked from the Hokage Monument?

Rin, the solution to your problems with Jiraya's peeping is not to shout out "Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!" and proceed to sic Kuromaru on him. Even if Tsume worked with you on it.

You also won't encourage Tsume to do the same on her own, or any other Inuzuka female

Obito, quit trying to mix _Katon Jutsu_ and explosive tags in your attempts to beat Kakashi. The last experiment you tried destroyed Training Area Twelve.

For both you and Kakashi, you will not set Gai on fire to see how brightly his Flames of Youth burn again. Even if, no, _especially_ if he thinks it's a good idea.

Minato, can you explain why both Kakashi and Obito were found in a gay bar dressed in drag with a smug Rin standing right outside it? On the other hand, we don't want to know.

Obito, teaching academy students the hand signs for 'The Hyuuga's need to pull those sticks out of their asses," is not acceptable.

Kakashi, having stealing Kushina's undergarments and placing them on a sleeping Minato will not be continued. No matter how amusing you may find it.

Yes, we know it was you, and she would like to have a word with you about that.

You deserved to be hung upside down, naked, from the Hokage Monument, Kakashi.

Obito, the excuse "Sorry I was late. Orochimaru was trying to turn me into an okama and make me his uke," will not be used again.

Drugging Orochimaru to find out if he is indeed male will not be done again, Kakashi.

Rin, what is it with you and dressing your team mates in drag?

Obito, you will not tell Rin she has a thing for okama, loudly, in public, or in front of clients. We already get enough complaints about sexual deviancy as it is. Better yet, you will not tell her at all ever again.

You also will not say that Orochimaru has a shota fetish, or a futanari fetish. Minato, what is it with your student's obsession with such things?

Put the puppy down, Rin.

Obito, you will not stand around and shouting and placing bets when Anko gets into a catfight with Rin.

You won't use _Suiton Jutsu_ to turn it into a mud fight, either. We're talking to _you_ , Kakashi.

No, you can't shove a _Doryuheki_ up a client's ass. We don't care _how_ annoying he is, Rin.

Rin, medical techniques were not meant to be used that way, and quit threatening Jiraya with a sex change if he doesn't stop his peeping. If Tsunade couldn't manage to stop him, what makes _you_ think you can.

Obito, the excuse, "I got drunk last night and somehow ended up spending the night with Anko," would be believable if we didn't already know that… Wait, that _actually happened_?!

Obito Uchiha is not allowed to consume or purchase alcohol.

Neither is the rest of Team Minato, including Minato.

Kakashi, you will not graffiti "I am t3h pwnage d00d. u n00bz r t3h suXX0rz!" on ANBU Headquarters.

Obito, slipping porn into your mission reports before you hand them to the chuunin at the desk is not funny. It's hard enough to get Shikaku to work as it is.

Kakashi, the Nara Clan does not find it amusing for you to claim the darkness is coming every time they use any of their clan techniques.

Rin, you will not have any Nara put Kakashi in a modified _Kage Shibari_ again. Especially if you dressed him in drag beforehand, _again._

Minato, once again, what is it with Rin and dressing her team mates up in drag? We're beginning to wonder if the allegations of her having a thing for okama are true.

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 **Next time:...I won't tell you}:)**


	6. AN

**Hey guys I'm back from my break/trip and I'm ready to write a new chapter on both of my stories. Remember to R &R and Pm me for ideas. **

**I will try to update very soon and I'm sorry for the wait….**

 **NeonNavy out**


	7. Chapter 7- The Sannins

**Disclaimer: Can someone tell me why a lawyer came to me in order to tell me to drop my claims to Naruto? This is the fourth time today, and I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. I don't own it.**

 **The Sannin**

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Listen up you three, we don't _care_ if Hanzo declared you the Sannin, you won't paint your faces on the Hokage Monument, with you _names_ added. Yes, we know it was you, now clean it _off_!

There is no pwnage no jutsu, Orochimaru, so quit shouting it out during battle.

No, Tsunade, you can't give Jiraya a sex change, no matter how much he irritates you.

Jiraya, quit peeping on Tsunade. We can only hold her back for so long before she _does_ carry out her threat.

Orochimaru, 'You would be surprised at what my snakes can do with their tongues,' is _not_ an appropriate pickup line.

The same applies to you and your toads, Jiraya.

Sarutobi, it has come to our attention that your students were found passed out, with copious bottles of sake in their possession. While this does happen to genin teams, the fact that Tsunade was naked, Jiraya was in a girl's yukata, and Orochimaru was suspended from a tree with his rear end visible for all to see. They were found like this in _p_ _ublic_. It makes us wonder if you can keep your students under control.

Jiraya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru are not allowed to purchase alcohol.

Flirting with the Uchiha women will not make them take the handcuffs off, Orochimaru.

Neither will flirting with the men Tsunade. Also, don't flash them because you're better developed than your peers.

Jiraya, doing a strip dance in front of the Uchihas to get your teammates out of that will not happen again. It took three hours to clean up the vomit from the men.

The women molesting you like that, was your own fault, Jiraya.

While we appreciate the skill it took to break into ANBU headquarters, return their uniforms and masks. They need them to do their jobs.

Orochimaru, you will not hang academy students above Manda's open mouth just because they annoyed you.

Can one of you explain why, when he woke up, the Hokage found himself with blue hair, in a woman's yukata, and wearing a makeup job fit for a geisha?

You can't blame another team when you get caught in the act Jiraya.

Tsunade, when you run after Jiraya trying to give him certain piercings and catch him, _don't try to carry it out in public_!

We don't want to know why you did it, just clean up the mess and make sure it doesn't happen again Orochimaru.

Having detailed conversations about how to remove an enemy nin's organs is not a proper conversation topic to have in front of academy students.

No Jiraya, we will _not_ change the kunoichi uniform to leather and stiletto heels.

You will not walk around the village in the aforementioned articles of clothing, either, Orochimaru. We don't _care_ if it was for a bet.

Painting pornographic images on the Hokage monument is not funny, Jiraya.

Jiriaya, you are to stop indicating Orochimaru is a pedophile and into boys. Its against regulations to spread unproven rumors about fellow comrades.

Jiriaya, please do not use our spies within in other villages to find out the bust size of other kunochis. Build your own spy network if you want to know.

Due to sign petition by the majority of Kunochis, and their husbands, fathers and brothers, any woman is allowed to beat up on those peeping on them as long as they are on the list of perverts, otherwise they must be detained. The list include Sarutobi (redacted after he became Hokage), and Jiriaya.

Tsunade , you are forbidden from hitting anyone with your chakra enhance strength for being a quote "Pervert." Using your regular strength is allowed so long as it doesn't put them in the hospital.

Tsunade is not allowed alcohol on the job, especially when is doing surgery.

Tsunade, would you like to explain the fifty thousand yen debt you accumulated over a day in the Fire Country capital.

While we are happy you take a interest in our youth, many parents are creep out by your interest in them Orochimaru, so to avoid an indecent your forbidden from visiting the academy, parks and orphanages without supervision.

Orochimaru, your are not allowed anywhere near Anko with supervision. You know what you did to her, you have derange her enough as it is and we don't want the pedophile rumors to start up, again.

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 **That is all for me guys. Next team I will do are the Eternal Gate Guards (Kotetsu and Izumo).**

 **Give me suggestions for the stuff they can get banned for and what I shall write about next team after The EGG(Eternal Gate Guards). So let's get cracking(HAHAHA*Wheez*)**


	8. Chapter 8- The Eternal Gate Guards

**I'm sorry if I have not uploaded in a while. Hope you like it:D. I blame school *coughlazynesscough* Here ya go!**

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 **Review count...:**

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**

 **Raw666: Thanks as always for the suggestions:D**

 **Poodie: Yeah Thanks:D**

 **Anonymous Person: No, I'm not opposed of doing teams outside of Konoha:D**

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 **Disclaimer: Can someone tell me why a lawyer came to me in order to tell me to drop my claims to Naruto? This is the fourth time today, and I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. I don't own it.**

 **Kotetsu and Izumo A.K.A The Eternal Guards**

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You are not allowed to tell people to strip to find out if the person is "clean"...especially the women has expressed their feelings and that they feel uncomfortable.

You are not allowed to scare Genin leaving the village for the first time to elevate your boredom. We need them out in the field to gain experience and not scared to leave the village due to thinking "A demon is out there to get their soul," "Bandits on the prowl for young girls," "The forest are hunted and no one returns from them once they leave," "Cannibals and Witches are out to eat them," "Other Villages out to capture and rape them for their bloodline," and the favorite "A missing-nin serial killers is out there, waiting for young children to butcher for fun." Its not funny, even if some of them are true.

You are here by banned from playing hot potato with an exploding note, jutsus or anything else that is lethal while on guard duty (Forever). Especially in front of potential clients, we don't want them to think that we are unprofessional even if some are *coughnarutoandtherestoftherookietwelvecough*

While we understand your concerns, but your petition for the Hokage, Tsunade to stop picking on you is rejected. She is the Hokage and has the right to treat you her slave is allowed as its not sexual in nature, and being forced to gather paper work, dance like puppets or perform menial or degrading tasks does not count.

You are hereby banned from sleeping while on guard duty. We don't care if Tsunade "tortured" you the whole of the night before.

Yes, we know you sleep.

Can you tell us why the wind Daimyō complained about you two? It involved you strip searching him...

We don't accept the excuse "We did not know that he was the daimyō". We have heard it to many times!

When we tell you to catch Naruto after he has done a prank does not mean you should help him get away or help him prank people...

You need to check everyone's belongings and ID properly

We had a bomb explode because you did not search a young woman's bag because you thought she was hot...

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 **That is all for me guys. Next team I will do are team Konomaharu.**

 **Give me suggestions for the stuff they can get banned for and what I shall write about next team.  
**


	9. Chapter 9- Team Konohamaru

**I'm sorry if I have not uploaded in a while. Hope you like it:D. Here ya go!**

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 **Monthly favorites:**

 **Song: Superhero by E.L**

 **Game: Clash of Clans**

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 **Review count...:**

...

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 **Review corner:**

 **Bankai777: Ok..Maybe**

 **Anonymous Person: Oh I agree *Shudder***

 **raw666: Ok thnx as always (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ**

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 **Disclaimer: I need more disposable body bags...I do not own Naruto even tho I want to...Then I would not be writing these stories...**

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 **Team Konohamaru**

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Konohamaru, you are from now on forbidden teaching someone else the _"_ _Oiroke no Jutsu"._ You have already traumatized at least ten people with that jutsu!

Sarada, you can't use the Sharingan on clients because they call you salad.

Boruto, stop calling Sarada salad.

Mitsuki, even if it works, don't use your tongue to strangle people.

Sarada, you are hereby banned from creating _genjutsu "Oiroke no Jutsu"_

Mitsuki, staring at couple making out is creepy. Just... No...Stop it...

Konohamaru, can you explain why we got complaints from clients about genjutsu's getting cast on them from someone on your team?

Boruto, we have gotten complains from some clients that you have been _to_ sarcastic...

Sarada, we have gotten complains from some clients that are mentally scarred from what you did

Yes, we know it was you that _tried_ seducing the clients with your so called _' sex appeal'_

Mitsuki, do you possibly know where all the snakes in Konoha has gone, even the ones from training ground 44 A.K.A The forest of death

I wonder who...ಠ_ಠ

Konohamaru, why were your genins dressed up in formal wear and drinking sake?

Be professional Konohamaru! Take the kimono off!...

Boruto, you are hereby banned from using the excuse _"I'm the Hokage's son!"_ when you make mistakes

Same goes for you Sarada...

Nor can you put the blame on others or on Mitsuki...

Poor boy...He's gone through enough already

Sarada you are not allowed to be like your mother was as a genin.

Mitsuki you are not allowed to become a porn star because of your tongue and your quote that you got from Orochimaru _"I'm good with my tongue..._ "

We want to know how you know that you are good with your tongue...

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 **That is all for me guys. I'm sorry if it is a bit short...I ran out of ideas. Next team I will do are probably Team Baki (The sand siblings)  
**

 **Give me suggestions for the stuff they can get banned for and what I shall write about next team.**


	10. Chapter 10- Team Sand

**I'm sorry if I have not uploaded in a while. Hope you like it:D. Here ya go!**

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 **Monthly favorites:**

 **Song: Machine Gun - 16 bit remix by Noisia  
**

 **Game: Terraria  
**

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 **Review count...:**

...

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 **Review corner:**

 **Superwin: Thanks man.  
**

 **Poodie: I'm happy that you love my story:D  
**

 **raw666: Ok thnx as always (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ**

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 **Disclaimer: I need more disposable body bags...I do not own Naruto even tho I want to...Then I would not be writing these stories...**

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 **Team Baki (The Sand Siblings)**

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Gaara, please don't hug people with your sand, it's terrifying.

Kankuro, stop pick fights with little kids.

Gaara, please don't cover the village with sand, this isn't Suna.

Temari, please don't use wind Justus to spread sand all over the Village.

Kankuro is forever banned from making his own puppet designs. People are mentally scared.

Gaara is banned from talking to people. Grown men can't sleep at night.

Temari…put… the fan…down…

Gaara you are not to threaten people that look at your sister with lust. She can defend herself and you are scaring what few customers away.

Stop creating tentacles of sand to play with the girls in the village. We don't need that image in our heads, thank you very much.  
Retracted due to number of threats from the female population of the village. Gaara is allowed to create sand tentacled behind closed doors.

Jiraiya, GO AWAY, IT'S THE WRONG CHAPTER!

Gaara, we are not calling you magnificent red, but we did approve of your dead father's new tittle, the Douche Bag Kazekage.

Temari, the Nara heir would not happen to be tied up in your bedroom, would he be.

Temari, stop create tornadoes in the middle of town of your sutitors. At least hear them out before rejecting them, we could use the money.

Stop playing with dolls and wearing makeup Kankuro, you look like sis. Use these battle puppets and wear war paint instead. Sign your Father the Kazekage.

You requested to be transfer to another unit is denied. You are the only to survive Gaara this long and we can't afford to lose any more Jonin. Deal with it.

Gaara, you are not allowed to build an own beach. We don't have the room for it...

On second thought, Gaara you could make a beach close to the water in our territory so we can get money out of it

We have gotten an increasing amount of complaints that you have been sighted holding hands with a puppet that's sculpted like a curvy woman Kankuro. STOP IT, it's creepy!

Temari, you are hereby banned from using wind techniques to spread confetti and newspapers.

Multiple people have gotten concussions from falling newspapers...

You wouldn't happen to know what happened to all the make-up in Suna Kankuro? All the shops had run out of make-up…

Temari, stop trying to murder your boyfriend because he is lazy.

Due to a number of threats from Temari, her mother and Shikamaru's mother, they are allowed to murder him behind closed doors.

Kankuro, we have gotten a recent number of complaints from your sister and the female population of the village. They are complaining that you have been giggling creepily and pervertedly around the hot springs together with an old, white haired man.

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 **That's all I could think of… Please let me know how you think this chapter is and give me more suggestions for more teams…  
The Next team I will do is not really a team but a mix of people. All I will say, is that they are from Kiri (Mist Village). I will be trying to do this by myself.. NeonNavy out**


	11. Chapter 11- Team Kiri

**I'm sorry if I have not uploaded in a while. Hope you like it:D. Here ya go!**

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 **Monthly favorites:** **Fanfics where they read other stories :p**

 **Song:** **Monster – datsik and 1000volts**

 **Game:** **Cs:Go**

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 **Review count...:**

 **...Idk**

 **Review corner:**

 **Poodie: Thanks as always man :D**

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 **Disclaimer: I need more disposable body bags...I do not own Naruto even tho I want to...Then I would not be writing these stories...**

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 **Team** **Kiri**

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Mei, you are not allowed to melt of someone's balls if they are perverted. We already have Tsunade and Sakura on our hands…

Chōjūrō, you need to grow a backbone. We have gotten complaints from fellow Kiri shinobi that they think you are unfit of the role of someone that is in the elite group _Seven Ninja_ _Swordsmen_ _of the Mist_

Ao, you need to stop with your muttering of today's youngsters and about other stuff that we don't need to hear you complaining about! Otherwise we will send Mei on you.

Utakata, can you please stop blowing bubbles when you are in the hot springs. The village gets covered by the bubbles after 20 minutes and they take a while to disappear.

Mei, you need to stop trying to seduce Naruto Uzumaki. He already has a girlfriend.

Ao, we do not care about the 'good ol' days' and when Yagura was kind. He is dead!

Chōjūrō, you need to stay conscious when you are meeting powerful people, otherwise they will think Kiri is a weak village.

Utakata, you need to get over you hate for the word 'master'. You are scaring a lot of potential recruits.

Ao, we need you to shut down your club. We have gotten complaints from the wife's and children of the members that they have become more like you. It's troubling, close _'The Good Ol' Days'_ club!

Mei, you are hereby banned from using your status as the Mizukage to occupy the hot springs when your friends are with you *couchtsunadesakurahinatainotemaritentenandotherscough*, you can get your position taken away from you.

On that note Mei. We need you to stop trying to take over the Elemental Nations with your group _'Female Wrath Band'_ , it's causing to many riots.

Chōjūrō, we found out that you are secretly starting a group called ' _The Oppressed Mist Boyz'_ We already have one in Konoha, just not for oppressed people, just for those that aren't N00bz. _Go ask Neji for details_ _regarding the group_ _._

Utakata you can also go and ask Neji for more information regarding his _special_ group.

Yagura, how are you even here? No you are not a ghost with the power to stay in the mortal realm for a long time, go back to the afterlife.

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 ** **Annnnd….. Done!****

 ** **This was a hard chapter to write because I could not really find much more about them. I may do a part 2 with this team. Send me ideas in PM….****

 ** **The next team I'm going to do is**** ** **not really a team but It's the four people that was with Orochimaru during the Sound/sand invasion during the Chunnin Exams. (Tayuya….)****

 ** **I'm working on my story 'The power of love' I think it will come out next.****


	12. Chapter 12- The Sound Four

**I lied, I updated this chapter before The Power of Love.** **Hope you like it:D. Here ya go!** **I wrote this during New Year so Happy New Year! Bye 2017, here I come 2018! Btw R.I.P Jonghyun.**

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 **Monthly favorites:** **Fanfics where they read other stories :p**

 **Song: 링가 링가** **(RINGA LINGA)** **by TAEYANG and Lonely by Jonghyun**

 **Favorite Leader: Alexander The Great**

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 **Review count...:** **29 reviews :D**

 **Review corner:**

 **Poodie: Sorry for mistaking you for a guy… It won't happen again…. Thanks for the body bag :D**

 **Tobi Uchiha-chan: Yes, we know… -.-**

 **raw666: thanks my loyal minion : )**

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 **Disclaimer: I need more disposable body bags...I do not own Naruto even tho I want to...Then I would not be writing these stories...**

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 **Team** **Sound (The Sound Four)**

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 **Tayuya, your petition to have the swear jar remove** **d** **from Base 318 is denied. It is your own fa** **ult** **you had to pay 6,000** **Ryo during your seven day visit. It's not are fault you did** **n't** **learn control your** **potty** **mouth** **which we need to wash with soap tonight** **. Now stop or** **we** **will make a swear jar mand** **a** **tory for every base under Lord Orochimaru.  
**

**Tayuya, stop forwarding offers and petitions form music groups and orchestras to play for them. Reject them** ** _ **yoursel**_** ** _ **f**_** **. Or maybe accept them so you get some more money to pay the swear jars that are popping up.**

 **Fellow** **S** **ound** **shinobi** **, stop asking Sakon and Ukon how they go to the bathroom while attach** **ed** **together!? Also, Sakon and Ukon, for the love of god don't answer them. There are some mysteries we don't need to know.  
**

**Kidōmaru, please stop leaving spider webs all over to quote "Catch some Prey." We do need to keep a sustainable population of expendable ninjas. We can't do that if you use your ability to hunt down shinobi, and traumatize the few** **kunoichi** **we get by using your web and spiders as bondage material.**

 **Jirōbō, stop crushing people because they call you fat. Yes we know that a good amount of your weight is muscle. That is why you use** **d** **a doctor certificate that list** **s** **how much body fat to prove your point. You don't** **need to** **crush them to prove your body is nothing but muscle.** **Fat is heavy after all.**

 **Tayuya, while you play beautiful m** **usic** **with your flute and we encourage you do in the day to boost moral, we ask you please** **r** **esist playing around midnight. We do need our sleep after all, despite the fact our boss tries his hardest to make it difficult too.  
**

**Sakon, Ukon, we know you switch off every meeting within your shared body to sleep through the me** **e** **ting. Stop that, despite how boring they sound, every meeting is important and as the leader of the Sound Four, you need to listen through them. Especially when they talk about distributing the budget and pay for various sections within Sound Forces.**

 **Kidōmaru,** **we need you to stop looking and acting like a lunatic. Yesterday you were climbing around on all of your limbs (** ** _ **both**_** **the walls and the ceiling while singing songs from The Amazing Spiderman movies. We will get a copyright strike if you continue!**

 **Jirōbō, stop calling** **our** **genin "** ** _weak maggots that are nothing but trash"_** **. In case you forg** **o** **t, you were a crybaby when you were a kid before we finished our training of you. And all of you are maggots to Lord Or** **ochi** **maru and his top officers, which is defiantly not you. Sign** **ed** **, Kabuto.**

 **Sakon and Ukon. Even though you have two heads (which means two brains) doesn't mean that you 're superior to some of the others in Otogakure. You had the lowest written test results in the history** **albeit~ short of Otogakure.**

 **Jirōbō,** **we find your hairstyle highly disgusting and we want you to at least get rid of the hair on the side of your head. It makes you look like a monk from Europe.**

 **Kidōmaru,** **we have gotten reports from the civilians with families around the Land of Sound. Their kids have gotten scared because they saw ~and I quote~** ** _'I saw a hoodlum that had extra arms than normal, he must be a demon.'_** **We want you to be as scary as possible, but please put a genjutsu on your extra appendages.** ** _Thanks_**

 **Kimimaro, you need to get to a hospital** ** _quick_** **. You have problems with your lungs and we don't care about that you are Orochimaru's next host body and that you were the leader of this group before you fell terminally ill..** ** **GET OUT!****

 **Tayuya, we are concerned with your mental health. You got worse since you saw wind jutsu and trees aga** **in after a long time. Go back to the afterlife!**

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 ** **Annnnd….. Done!****

 ** **The next team I'm going**** ** **to is unknown.****

 ** **I'm working on my story 'The power of love' I think it will come out next.****


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